How to Handle a Conflict With Neighbors
http://www.pcwomensjournal.com/articles/9788/1/How-to-Handle-a-Conflict-With-Neighbors/Page1.html
Ellie Lewis
Ellie Lewis has worked with a Henderson divorce attorney for an article she is writing on the topic of divorce. Her daughter has worked with several Henderson divorce attorneys as a legal intern during the summer. By Ellie Lewis
Published on 01/23/2012
With falling property value and meager financial resources, people tend
to be more intolerant of their neighbors. In these difficult times, tact
in your approach can resolve your conflicts with neighbors in a better
way.
With falling property value and meager financial resources, people tend to be more intolerant of their neighbors. In these difficult times, tact in your approach can resolve your conflicts with neighbors in a better way.
• Before discussing a problem with your neighbor, sleep on with the concern. It will help to ease things up a little. Or perhaps you may decide against the option of approaching your neighbor. If you are not constantly enduring a problem from your neighbor or it does not involve a safety issue, then it is probably not worth pursuing.
• Decide a time to meet your neighbor when everyone will be calm. Figure out exactly what is bothering you. Determine in advance what your suggestions are and how you are going to convince your neighbor. When you finally have a one-to-one dialogue, do it with an open mind. Be prepared to listen to what they have to say. It is important not to become aggressive or defensive, but to stay open-minded and relaxed. If you feel that the conversation isn't working, excuse yourself politely and remove yourself from the situation.
• If you are unable to resolve the issue(s) at hand with your neighbor during a conversation, your next step might be to step back and decide whether the problem is worth pursuing. If your neighbor's dog barks at night, could you simply sleep with a air filter or soothing sounds machine on in order to block out the noise?
• If there are no alternative solutions, you could follow up by putting your request in writing (but make sure that the wording is polite and won't spark further conflict). You can further support your argument by stating local laws regarding the problem. You have a better chance to make yourself clear if other neighbors are also facing the same problem. You can ask them to sign the letter. After seeing many signatures, your neighbor may be willing to corporate.
• If feel the need, you can hire a mediator or you can even opt for small claims court.
• The last resort is to place your case in a regular court. This can get really expensive and time consuming and the final decision might not be the one for which you were hoping.
In the end, it's important to remember that living near other people requires tolerance and some concessions. Even if you think a neighbor's mailbox is hideous, they might be quite proud of it, for example, so maybe it's just not worth worrying about. You might be living next to these people for years to come so it's better to keep the small nuisances in perspective while calmly and diplomatically dealing with the larger issues.
• Before discussing a problem with your neighbor, sleep on with the concern. It will help to ease things up a little. Or perhaps you may decide against the option of approaching your neighbor. If you are not constantly enduring a problem from your neighbor or it does not involve a safety issue, then it is probably not worth pursuing.
• Decide a time to meet your neighbor when everyone will be calm. Figure out exactly what is bothering you. Determine in advance what your suggestions are and how you are going to convince your neighbor. When you finally have a one-to-one dialogue, do it with an open mind. Be prepared to listen to what they have to say. It is important not to become aggressive or defensive, but to stay open-minded and relaxed. If you feel that the conversation isn't working, excuse yourself politely and remove yourself from the situation.
• If you are unable to resolve the issue(s) at hand with your neighbor during a conversation, your next step might be to step back and decide whether the problem is worth pursuing. If your neighbor's dog barks at night, could you simply sleep with a air filter or soothing sounds machine on in order to block out the noise?
• If there are no alternative solutions, you could follow up by putting your request in writing (but make sure that the wording is polite and won't spark further conflict). You can further support your argument by stating local laws regarding the problem. You have a better chance to make yourself clear if other neighbors are also facing the same problem. You can ask them to sign the letter. After seeing many signatures, your neighbor may be willing to corporate.
• If feel the need, you can hire a mediator or you can even opt for small claims court.
• The last resort is to place your case in a regular court. This can get really expensive and time consuming and the final decision might not be the one for which you were hoping.
In the end, it's important to remember that living near other people requires tolerance and some concessions. Even if you think a neighbor's mailbox is hideous, they might be quite proud of it, for example, so maybe it's just not worth worrying about. You might be living next to these people for years to come so it's better to keep the small nuisances in perspective while calmly and diplomatically dealing with the larger issues.